CURLZ!

Hey, everybody. First order of business this week is to inform all of you that episode 2 of "The Rub" is up. So, give that a listen at therub.podbean.com. Next order of business is to think of something funny to post on here this week and write it in the white expanse below.

Damn. I'm spent. I haven't got anything remotely interesting to post on here this week. I don't have a single thought in my head that I think needs to be elaborated on in the least. Alright, I was reluctant to do this but I'm going to write about training. This isn't going to be funny. Please don't judge me for that. I try to keep this blog comedy-centric and I'm really deviating from that this week. Here we go.

I'm currently following Jim Wendler's 5/3/1 with some max effort Oly-lifts done as accessory work one day a week. I know most people who read this and actually care about training will be Crossfitters. I'm about to tell you something you're not going to like. You will, in fact, probably frown upon it. I think I'm going to add some curls to my program. This is not a joke. For those who aren't in the know, curls are heavily maligned in the crossfit community. They are seen as a useless isolation exercise, completely non-functional. However, a few months ago I read this article on elitefits.com promoting the use of bicep curls not for beach-tastic hypertrophy or to get a sweet pump in your pythons, but as pre-hab on the elbow joint. This concept made sense to me, and there is also the anecdotal evidence of many wicked strong dudes doing bicep curls.
Example: Doug Young



I also know that power lifters strengthen weak body parts with isolation work. If the triceps are a weak link in a power lifter's bench press, he's going to do direct tricep work to bring up that weakness. I can feel in my One-Arm Chin-up negatives that my biceps are the weak link in the chain. I think a few sets of barbell curls a week could help that. The meat and potatoes of my program will still be the big 4: Squat, Press, Deadlift and Bench Press. My primary concern is getting stronger in these lifts. I don't think curls will detract from that and I suspect they may even help. But, don't worry. I guarantee I will NOT be curling in the squat rack.

I'll try to get back to the funnies next week.

Introducing, The Rub.

Hey, guys. I'm very excited to inform all of you that you can now enjoy my presence on your computer in a whole new format. My friend Ben Mercer and I are co-hosting a new podcast called, "The Rub." We'll talk about a variety of topics and probably ramble quite a bit. Occasionally we may have some special guests on the podcast for silly interviews or deep introspection. The best part of this whole thing is that the premiere episode of The Rub is already live and ready for your enjoyment. And it's right here in this blog post. Give it a listen.

full podcast 1 by mercerbe

Learn more about Ben at Brew for your Buck, his beer blog we mention on the podcast.

"Till death do you part" Implies a Lifetime Warranty, Right?

As a young man on the cusp of graduating from college, I’ve begun to ponder marriage. Not that I’d even consider getting married any time in the near future, but I’ve just begun to turn the idea over in my head a little bit. Marriage scares me because there seems to be a good chance of failure. A lot of marriages end in divorce these days. I don’t know how the priests, ministers, rabbi’s or other religious leaders performing these marriages sleep at night. Can they honestly look at the rise in divorce rates and feel no guilt or responsibility? American cars don’t last as long as they used to, so we blame the auto manufacturers. Why aren’t we blaming the people performing these marriage ceremonies for the rise in divorce rates? I really don’t think the craftsmanship is as good as it used to be. They seem to be using much cheaper parts. The magical religious welds on these marriages are weak. Just look at the amount of maintenance people have to do to keep a marriage running. Couples are regularly going to marriage counselors and renewing their vows. If you’ve been married less than 5 years and you’ve already renewed your vows, you should go back to whoever married you and get a refund because you got a lemon.  I’m not ordained so I’m not sure what the specific manufacturing shortcomings are. Perhaps, “I now pronounce you man and wife” isn’t being said emphatically enough. Or, maybe I’m missing the mark entirely. Perhaps ring bearing is a lost art and these 9 year old boys in their rental tuxedos aren’t up to par. Maybe it’s the flower girl. I’m not exactly sure, but somebody in the marriage assembly line is not pulling their weight and until we figure this out I’m not walking down the aisle with anyone. 

The Cold Sore Before Christmas

Man, I've really been neglecting my blog lately. I published that disappointingly undersized cute little post about gas prices on Christmas Eve and then I was just too lazy busy to maintain the blog through the holidays. But, now the holidays are over and part of me says good riddance because even though the holidays are fun, they can also be stressful. And, as previously mentioned in my Rough Day post, when I am faced with stress cold sores abound. Which brings me to the meat of this post. This is a poem I wrote a couple years ago that I hope you will enjoy. If I was smarter I would have published THIS on Dec. 24th.

 The Cold Sore Before Christmas

by Ryan Brown

T’was the night before Christmas

And all through the house

Everything was quite well

Except Ryan’s mouth

The presents so carefully

Wrapped in papyrus

But raging on his lip

Was the herpes simplex virus

His body was nestled

All snug in his bed

As the sore began throbbing

And growing blood-red

It came from the depths

Of the cells in his lips

Slowly but surely

The infection took grip

Then there on his mouth

He felt such a clatter

He sprang to the mirror

To see what was the matter

To the local drugstore

He flew like a flash

He grabbed the Abreva

And threw down some cash

With a quick application

The burning was quelled

He hoped by the morning

That all would be well

He set an alarm to wake up every hour

To fight this outbreak with all of his power

At one, at two, at three and four am

He applied a small layer

But his fate looked quite grim

From six in the am

Up until nine o’clock

He slept in his bed

Praying the cold sore would stop

Finally at nine

The young man awoke

“I bet the cold sore is gone”

He sarcastically joked            

He stretched and he yawned

He sauntered to the mirror

Only to discover

His lip looked quite clear

Upon further inspection

He was beyond surprised

He was completely unable

To believe his own eyes

In just eleven short hours

The sore had been beaten

Not a moment sooner than

Christmas breakfast would be eaten

He sat at the table

And enjoyed this fine feast

And told his family

Of the herpes defeat

The group was joyous

Fearlessly sharing beverage

Thankful for the Abreva

That gave Ryan such leverage

They sat and they ate

Until they were all full

In awe of this

Christmas herpes miracle!