My Inner Hipster and the Red Hot Chili Peppers

Last night I went to go see the Red Hot Chili Peppers. They were playing at the newly renamed PNC Center, formerly the “RBC Center”. I’m glad I went because I had a really good time but, I still don’t feel like I had as good of a time as most of the people in attendance. I don’t know what it is, but whenever I see live music I never feel like I’m enjoying it as much as everyone else there. Last night there were moments during songs where the whole crowd would just start roaring as a unit. Not because of anything specific like an impressive guitar solo or stage antics of the performers, just in the middle of the song a wave of enthusiasm would wash over the crowd. I didn't get it. When it happened I found myself looking around like, 

“What? Oh. Is this what we’re doing now? Why?” 

It’s like everybody else was tuned into some kind of signal that my social antenna just wasn’t picking up. I've experienced that feeling at a lot of live musical performances. I would say I’m certainly more reserved at shows than the average concert-goer. I never sing along to songs and I might dance a little bit, but only if I’m REALLY into the performance. However, when I’m listening to music alone, I sing and dance all the time. The most obvious explanation for this discrepancy would be that I’m self-conscious, but that’s not it. As I sat there in the crowd last night and thought about it I found the real reason that I don’t enjoy live music on the same level as a lot of people.

            I don’t sing and dance at shows because I can’t get over the fact that if I do, then I’m just another asshole singing, dancing and loving the Red Hot Chili Peppers. That probably sounds sad, because it is. The strange thing is that I already knew that I’m just another asshole who loves the chili peppers. I didn’t go to the show last night with any delusions about the Chili Peppers being some sort of underground secret only enjoyed by a select hardcore fan base, of which I am a member. They’re one of the biggest rock groups of the past two decades. I know that what I get out of their music isn’t specific to me. “Under the Bridge” resonates with a shit load of people and I think that just bothers me on an existential level. I want to be a special snowflake who’s having a totally novel and unique experience on this planet. But, at the end of the day, I’m not. I’m as different and individual as any one of the skin cells on my body. Seeing an arena full of other humans enjoying this art that I have such a personal connection with really just shoved that truth in my face. Even the feelings I’m expressing in this post aren't unique. It’s just a hipster mentality. I want this music all to myself because if I’m one of the select few that enjoys it, my ego can cling to that as proof that I’m different from the masses and if I’m different then maybe that means… I’m better.

            While a lot of people probably feel like seeing a band perform live is more personal than listening to their recorded work, I completely disagree. The connection to the Red Hot Chili Peppers that I felt last night in that arena full of people doesn't even begin to compare to the connection I feel when I blast “Can’t Stop” in my headphones at the gym because I need to hit a new personal record squat or the connection I felt as a lonely college freshman walking around the frigid winter campus of ASU, listening to “Breaking the Girl”. I realize the love I have of the Red Hot Chili Peppers exists in others. But, thanks to recorded albums, ipods and headphones I can bring their music into my most personal moments and enjoy them in a context that can be truly mine.

George Carlin. One of the greatest ever.

I was just watching a handful of clips from "An Evening at the Improv" on hulu. All of them were recorded between 1982 and 1996. A lot of it is the antiquated, hacky comedy that epitomized stand up in the 80s. It's all sport coats and goofy premises. Then, to cleanse my pallet I watched a bit of George Carlin's first HBO special, "On Location: George Carlin at USC". This was filmed in 1977, roughly a decade before a lot of the "Improv" stuff. It made me realize how far ahead of his time Carlin really was.

The Quinn

I want to tell you all about the facility that I'm training at right now. I'm currently at school at Appalachian State University. There isn't a CF affiliate in Boone, and even if there was I probably wouldn't pay a membership fee when I have access to the university facilities included in my tuition. Up until about 2 months ago I had been training at the Student Recreation Center, which was opened my freshman year here. It's a really nice, big facility with an indoor 200 m track, lifting platforms, rock wall, etc. They even got a rower last year.

However, for some reason when they were designing the building they put the weight room, including the platforms, up on the second floor right above the offices and locker rooms. As pretty much anybody should be able to imagine, this was a bad idea. I mean, if you buy platforms and bumper plates isn't the assumption that people are going to be dropping weights onto the ground? How could such a huge oversight have occurred? If I had to venture a guess, it's probably because the people responsible for operating the facilities haven't lifted a weight in the past decade, if ever. So, this led to weight room staff asking me not to drop bumper plates on to a platform. Offensive, to say the least.

So, as of Summer 2011 they finally removed the platforms and bumper plates from the Student Rec. Center and put brand new platforms in the older recreation center, The Quinn. This is where I'm currently training. The Quinn was built in 1987 and even though it's the new home of the best training equipment on campus it certainly has its downfalls. First, the building layout is incredibly sexist. When you walk in, to your left is the weight room and to your right is an open space with hardwood floors and mirrored walls where aerobics classes are taught. These two rooms are divided by a "cardio" area with treadmills, ellipticals and the like, pictured below. They decided to put the Men's locker room to the left, by the weight room and the women's to the right, near the aerobics floor because circa 1987 AppState believed in cultivating a student body comprised of men that never do aerobics and women that never lift weights. As a result my girlfriend, who lifts heavy barbells on a regular basis, has to walk all the way to the other side of the building and go up and down two small flights of stairs if she needs to use the bathroom mid-workout.

Front Desk and "Cardio" area at The Quinn

Most of the people who lift in the Quinn are young males with an extreme distaste for training their lower body. So, common fashion is a tank top to showcase the guns, coupled with sweatpants to hide the marathon-winner legs. But, perhaps my favorite thing to hate about the Quinn are the posters they have on the wall with suggestions for lifts to work certain muscle groups. Among these posters is this gem:

Yea, you read that correctly. "Stomach workout".  Not "Abdominal workout" or "Midsection workout". Shit, I'd be happier if it said "Tummy Tightening Routine". But, this insults my intelligence on a more advanced level than just goofy semantics because the stomach is an actual piece of human anatomy in the digestive system. In order for this poster to be made accurate "torso twists" and "incline situps" would have to be replaced with pictures of McDonald's menu items.

Having to train at this sub-par gym is made all the more torturous by the fact that I have to watch from a distance as Crossfit Durham, my home gym when I'm in Raleigh, is being transformed into a Strength and Conditioning paradise. Luckily, there's only another month before my return.

Omniscience is Bliss.

People say that ignorance is bliss. I agree with that. But, I bet that complete knowledge is bliss too. I don’t know for sure because nobody has ever known everything. Every year, millions voluntarily explore the “ignorance” end of the spectrum and can verify the happiness associated with it. But, nobody has ever tried omniscience to see how it suits them. I bet it’s a happy place. I think it’s the in-between, partial knowledge that makes a person miserable. Unfortunately, that is exactly where humanity currently stands as a species. We know a lot, but we don’t know everything. We know how to completely re-adjust a child’s jaw with headgear but we can’t figure out how to keep the other kids from making fun of them when they wear it. We can put a man on the moon, but we can’t provide ourselves with a government credible enough for everyone to believe that they put a man on the moon. We can create The Shawshank Redemption, but we can’t prevent Tokyo drift. We seem to have the best resources and the worst intentions.

Our Voice Will Be Heard Amongst No Other Voices!

Podcast Episode 6

Here's the next episode of my as of yet unnamed podcast. On this episode I talk about venison, how college professors can improve their job performance, and carb cycling.

Stream Podcast Episode 6
Download Podcast Episode 6

Carb Cycling Articles:
Carb Cycling Made Easy Part 1- Jason Ferruggia
Carb Cycling Made Easy Part 2- Jason Ferruggia
EFS: Carb Backloading
Fat Loss Nutrition

"Bookend" Metcon

I want to put up a quick training related post. This is just a quick explanation of a style of programming for conditioning that I've been playing with a little bit lately and really like. I've deemed them "bookend" metcons because I choose a heavy movement that bookends the faster pace metabolic movement. The general template is:

X Rounds:
-Big, compound, heavy movement for low reps (3-6)
-Something light and fast to jack up the heart rate for 30-45 seconds
-Same big, compound, heavy movement for same weight/reps as you did at the beginning
-Rest before next round

Example:
4 Rounds:
5 DB Hang Clean to OVH
50 Double Unders
5 DB Hang Clean to OVH
Rest 1 min

The weight on the DB Hang Clean to OVH would be as heavy as you can complete the workout with. You could even start conservatively and increase weight on each round if you wanted to. These work really well performed in teams of two. One athlete performs one round, then rests while their partner does it. If the athletes are of equal skill level this keeps the work:rest ratio at about 1:1. The goal with these is to move non-stop through each round. At no point should you set down the DB's or rest on the double unders. You'll find that there is a huge difference between the first 5 DB Hang Clean to OVH and the last 5 of each round. The first 5 feel explosive because you're fresh off a rest period and the last 5 are a bitch, but it's easy to push yourself through them because the reps are low and you're almost done. It makes for good psychological training.

Here are some more examples. I'll use 4 Rounds with 1 min recoveries for each of these, but the total rounds and rest intervals are variables that can be adjusted depending on the ability of the athlete:

4 Rounds:
5 DB Thrusters
15 Box Jumps
5 DB Thrusters
Rest 1 min

4 Rounds:
3 KB Snatch Right
3 KB Snatch Left
10 Burpees
3 KB Snatch Right
3 KB Snatch Left
Rest 1 min

4 Rounds:
3 Barbell Squat Clean to OVH
15 KB Swings (light)
3 Barbell Squat Clean to OVH

4 Rounds:
6 KB Swings (Heavy)
Sprint 200 m
6 KB Swings
Rest 1 min