Totally Sweet Armoir

All summer long my Mom has been asking me to post a craigslist ad for a large oak armoir that we have sitting in our garage. I finally buckled down and put an ad out there. The following is the ad I posted on Craigslist last month, with the headline "Totally Sweet Armoir" :

The first thing you need to know about this Armoir is that it's totally fucking sweet! Trust me, you do NOT want to miss out on this deal. This Armoir could change your life. It's got an elegant crackle paint job that will blow your mind! If you like to entertain, a piece like this is an absolute must. Where does your television sit right now? On a table? On the floor? On a metal TV stand mounted to the wall? FUCK THAT SHIT! YOU'RE BETTER THAN THAT! Get that television up where it belongs in a beautiful Armoir. The only reasonable way you could turn down this item is if you don't like the word "Armoir". If that's the case, I don't blame you. It's really french and it's not fun to say. But here's an easy fix: refer to this shit as a CABINET! That's basically what it is. It's just a big fuckin' cabinet and it's awesome. If you're reading this you'd better shoot me an email RIGHT AWAY! I don't think this sucker is going to last long...

I got one response from a gentleman who took me seriously:

"any pix of it open? wtf

what are the dimensions?"

I probably would have received more emails from interested potential customers but my ad got flagged for removal after about 24 hours. Meanwhile a young lady in Danville, NC posts an ad in the "Casual Encounters" section with the headline, "Here's a chica with professor fantasies, make me your whore - w4m - 21" and goes completely unnoticed.