Oil
Where does it go?
In your car. The engine, not the interior.
What does it do?
Keep your car running well. As a bonus, some cars can even burn the oil for fuel! (This isn't actually desirable)
Blood
Where does it go?
In your veins, or in plastic bags then into someone else's veins.
What does it do?
Makes a mess when you're injured and helps police catch murderers. Blood is like the blue ink in one of those little security tags on retail merchandise.
Milk
Where does it go?
It's intended to go into the mouths of young calves but if you can intercept some and channel it into your own stomach it's mighty tasty.
What does it do?
Makes you big and strong. To be fair, it also spikes insulin and could promote cancer growth.
Shampoo
Where does it go?
In your hands, scrubbed into your hair and then down the shower drain. Repeat.
What does it do?
Cleans your hair. But, CAUTION: regular shampoo use will prevent the creation of dreadlocks.
BBQ Sauce
Where does it go?
On top of meats. Preferably grilled. Also preferably NOT bologna.
What does it do?
Makes even a bland, unseasoned slab of flesh taste amazing.
Whisky
Where does it go?
Into your belly, then your liver and brain. Then, eventually, to Whisky heaven. (This is the only liquid on the list that has an after-life.)
What does it do?
Makes you feel delighted, then sick...and then proud.
Post your favorite liquids in the comments! Or least favorite? Or anything.
I was wondering why I've been having so much trouble getting dreadlocks! Thanks!
ReplyDelete