Seasonal Sex Acts

The holidays are here. Many see the holiday season as a time for giving, or a time for looking ahead to the coming new year. But to me, the holidays have always seemed like a time for romance. There are so many opportunities for sparks to fly. You could try sitting inside with your lover, snuggled up under a blanket by the fire, sipping hard cider. And if that doesn't work you can create obligatory sexual tension with a little carefully placed mistletoe. I've done some brainstorming and here are a few other ways to keep your sex life as spicy as the mustard in a hickory farms gift basket during the holiday season.

-Ladies, here's a suggestion that the editors over at Cosmo are too wise scared to print. Surprise your man with a sensual mitten job. You and your partner will both find it "hot" in different ways. Move over, Michael Jordan. There's a new "MJ" in town.

-If you and your partner are into S+M but bored with conventional whips and chains, winter can be a great time to add ice skates to your arsenal. The safe word is "Triple Axel". And if you're a masochist who happens to be single this holiday season, no worries. Curl up on the couch with some hot cocoa and pop in a DVD copy of "Christmas with the Kranks"...and brace yourself.

-When you find yourself deep in the throes of passion with your lover, try screaming the names of your favorite Christmas movie characters. Here's some of my favorites:

"FROSTY!"

"Mr. MA-GOO!"

"SINBAD AS A MAILMAN!"

-Some say it's better to give than to receive. But, what could be better than being the giver and the receiver? I'm talking about self-love. But, don't stop there. You can actually give yourself an extra-special gift by taking something away. That "something" is oxygen. Take a cue from those stockings hanging from the mantel and give autoerotic asphyxiation a try. Put a holiday twist on this classic too-curious-teen favorite by eschewing the boring, everyday rope in favor of some festive garland. If all goes well, you'll have a shameful and dangerous habit to kick for your new years resolution.