If Fergie ever gets breast cancer I hope her Doctor has the balls to tell her like this.
Doc: Ms. Ferguson, please have a seat. Your mammogram results are back from the lab.
Fergie: What's it say, doctor?
Doc: Upon examining your humps, we found a lady lump.
Fergie: Are you being serious right now?
Doc: I'm very serious. And it's not lovely. It's a malignant lady lump. Check it out!
Fergie: That's not funny! I can't believe this is happening to me!
Doc: I'm surprised too. All your vitals show that you've clearly been working on your fitness. I'm your witness.
Fergie: Please stop. You're being very unprofessional. This isn't a laughing matter.
Doc: You're right. I'm sorry. I just couldn't resist. That was very unprofessional of me. Let's talk treatment.
Fergie: Thank you. I appreciate that. So, what are my options?
Doc: Well, there are some common radiation and chemotherapy treatments we can try.
Fergie: Ok. How much will those cost?
Doc: Well, your insurance should cover it. But you'll have them spending! "Spending all their money on me! And my chemo-ther-a-py!"
Fergie: Fuck you! (Storms out)
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